HAVE YOU LEFT YOUR MARK?

Our home has two bathrooms on the main floor.  One bathroom is in the master bedroom, and the second bathroom is right across the hallway from David's bedroom.  In general, Rich and I use only the bathroom in our bedroom, and David is supposed to use the bathroom across from his bedroom.  However, David loves to use our bathroom.  I don't know if it's because he likes looking at the reading material we have in there, or if it's just the thrill of doing what he knows he's not supposed to do. 

Like most children, David does not hide his "sin" well.  He never flushes the toilet when he uses our bathroom.  When he uses his bathroom he always flushes...  go figure.  Anyway, we've become accustomed to having surprises waiting for us when we walk into our bathroom, and the phrase we use is "David's left his mark!"  We know he was there by what he left behind.

As Christians, do we leave our mark anywhere?  Are there signs of happier people, lightened loads, cheered spirits in our paths?  Or maybe people didn't even realize we came through - we were so self-absorbed that we failed to acknowledge anyone else we saw.  Or worse yet, maybe we left a trail of people who were hurt, neglected or abused.

Everywhere I go I want to leave people feeling better than when I got there.  I want to leave my mark of friendliness, kindness, generosity, hope and love.  I want people to know God was with me and that I left God with them, too. 

What kind of mark do you leave?

IS HE CLOSE ENOUGH TO BE MISSED?

Last week, my dog Zeus had a stroke.  We woke up on Wednesday morning and Zeus had no control of his rear legs.  He was dragging himself through the house - it was so sad.  That morning I took him to the animal hospital and he was admitted for treatment to see if he would be able to regain the use of his rear legs or if we would have to put him down.  Zeus was in the animal hospital for two and a half days.  While Zeus was gone, I was a wreck.  I love my pets as if they were my children, and my dog is truly my buddy.  When I'm home, Zeus is always right by me and goes everywhere I go. 

David on the other hand, couldn't care less about our pets.  Most of the time he just steps over them if they are in the way (he has, at times, just stepped on them if they are in the way).  If you tell David to "pet the cat" or "pet the dog" he basically slams his hand down on their head once or twice and walks away.  There are times a cat will be brave enough to jump on David's bed and he throws a huge fit - you would think the house is on fire!

So, while Zeus was gone, I was crying and missing him.  Everywhere I looked I saw reminders of my beloved dog.  While Zeus was gone, David didn't miss a beat.  His life didn't change one bit - if anything it became easier because he didn't have to step over the dog while walking through the room.

My Zeus came home on Friday afternoon.  He's walking like he's drunk, but he is walking.  And I am so excited to see him in the house and to have him by my side again.  I was thinking about my emotions and wondering if I was going overboard when I then applied the same thinking to God.  Am I close enough to God to be a miserable mess when He and I don't get to spend time together, or am I like David and able to keep living my life without missing a beat without time spent with God?  Do I look everywhere in my life and see reminders of my relationship with my Saviour or am I surrounded by things of the world that push God out? 

I love my dog very much.  I love my God more.  I hope my life shows Him how much I need Him in my every action, thought and deed.  What does your life show?

IS THE FRIDGE LOCKED?

One of the challenges of caring for David is keeping him from eating himself into a coma!  David has a problem where he never feels satisfied and full.  He will eat until he throws up and still want to continue eating.  So, at our home, we have two fridges.  One we keep things in of which David is not very fond - fruit, milk, cheese, eggs, etc.  The second fridge has all of David's favorites - lunch meat, granola bars, etc.  Each night when we are getting ready to go to bed we ask whoever is letting the dog out "is the fridge locked?"  We know that David doesn't need the temptation of eating what he doesn't need so we keep him from being tempted.  It just makes common sense.  There have been times we have forgotten to lock the fridge and David will put the padlock on himself.  There are other times that we have forgotten and David will put the padlock on AFTER he has eaten himself silly.   Since David is not strong enough to always fight temptation, we try to keep him from the temptation by making sure the fridge is locked.

Let's relate this to our lives.  As Christians, there are times we are strong enough to fend off the temptation and we can say no to the sin presented to us.  There are other times when we aren't strong enough to say no.  The smart thing to do is to padlock ourselves into protection - put good blocking software on your computer so you don't view anything you shouldn't, even inadvertently.  Make yourself accountable to someone who will check up on you in your Bible reading and prayer.  Have friends that encourage and motivate you to be a better Christian.  A great preacher used to say "You are what you hang around."  Today, I'm going to check and make sure that I keep my fridge locked - my Saviour deserves nothing less of me.

NATURAL INSTINCTS

This morning I was helping David get dressed, as I do every morning.  As David was putting his underwear on he became unsteady and instinctively reached out for my shoulder to steady himself.  After he steadied himself he finished putting his underwear on, then the rest of his clothes and was ready to start his day.  David reached for me when he was unsteady because he knew that I wouldn't let him fall and that I am always there to help him.

As I thought about that I was very convicted...  When I become unsteady in my Christian life instead of instinctively reaching out for Christ, I reach out for my spouse, or a friend.  Why do I do that?  Probably because my heart isn't as in tune with Christ as it should be so I look for a voice I can hear and a touch I can physically feel.  I need to work on making Christ so real in my life that I can hear Him as He offers me comfort and I can feel His presence as He stands by my side. 

So, each time David uses reaches out to me to steady himself, it will be another reminder that I need to reach out to Christ and no one else!

IT'S SUNDAY!!

We really love Sundays in our home.  Rich is out driving a bus, bringing kids and adults to church.  David and I will be leaving in a few moments to go get some young girls to bring to church with us.  There's no way to really explain how much we love our church and all it means to us and all it has done for us.

David loves church.  He loves going and shaking hands with people.  David loves to look at the different ties men wear.  David loves to go and watch his Pastor preach.  Mostly though, David loves his pastor.  Our pastor, Dr. Schaap, has somehow managed to reach into David's autistic mind and grab his heart.  If we are watching a DVD of our pastor, David will stop in front of the TV, point at Bro. Schaap and just watch him.  If we have Bro. Schaap's picture on something in the house, David will pick it up, point at Bro. Schaap and just look at the picture for a long time.  David loves his pastor.

Our pastor has reached into our hearts, too.  We love our pastor.  He is the shepherd of the flock we call First Baptist Church of Hammond.  He truly cares for us - we have no doubt about this.  I hope you love your pastor, and I hope you take time to let him know you love him. 

DISNEY WORLD

Well, David is happy.  Our vacation to Disney World has been planned.  David is learning to finger spell D-I-S-N-E-Y and for now, all is well with the world.  Since we aren't leaving until the end of February, I created some calendar pages that we put on the back of David's bedroom door to help him with the concept of time (otherwise he would want to go NOW!

At the end of each night, we have a family routine.  We give David his nighttime pills, we give him a kiss on the head and tell him we love him.  We've added crossing off a day on the calendar to give David some perspective on when we are leaving.  This seems to be a really good thing for David and it helps us because he knows what to expect.

God has given us a calendar of sorts.  We don't exactly know when Jesus is returning to earth, but there are signs we can look for and "cross off" as they happen and appear.  Our trip to Florida will be here before we know it.  More importantly, our Saviour will be returning for us before we know it.  Please make sure you are ready for His appearing.  You don't want to be left behind.  Please see my blog entitled "His Way is the Only Way" for more information!

SICK...

David has been home sick since Wednesday.  He's had lots of drainage issues along with a deep cough and fever.  David has been so sick he's even turned food down!!  I almost called the ambulance for that!  Just kidding, a little.

Anyway, one thing I am learning when David is sick is that he stops and rests.  If he doesn't feel well, or if he is tired, he goes to sleep.  He doesn't care where he is.  David has slept quite a bit these last several days, and I'm glad because it's been helping him recover.  Yesterday morning we went to church, but David still wasn't 100%.  So, he slept through Sunday school and he slept through church.  I tried to wake him up but he would have nothing to do with it!!

While I type this David is sleeping.  I just went to check on him and I thought how peaceful he looks.  I was glad he was resting.  But I also wondered why we "normal" people don't follow his lead.  I realize that we have more responsibilities than David has, but we push ourselves.  We don't take time to get well when we are sick.  We don't take time to rest when we are tired.  We act as if the whole world will collapse if we don't do whatever we think we should do. 

Don't get me wrong, I believe that if someone is counting on you, it is imperative to do whatever it takes to get the job done.  But how often do we insist on doing the job ourselves instead of asking for help.  We have a martyr personality, as if suffering though some task will bring us accolades and awards.  Usually, all it brings is a bad attitude because of exhaustion and frustration. 

So, as I'm preaching to myself, I'm going to try to follow David's lead and take care of myself.  The Bible says we are to love others as we love ourselves.  We always look at this verse on how to treat others,  but maybe we should look at it as an example of how to treat ourselves!!

GETTING CLEANED UP...

We try to give David freedom to make some of his own choices.  One of the choices he gets every morning is whether or not I will shave him.  I realized on Wednesday how "normal" David is when he asked me to shave him, because David only wants me to shave him on Sundays and Wednesdays which happen to be the days we go to church.  David understands and knows that he is supposed to be clean and neat for the church services.  It doesn't matter how the people in his normal routine of daily life see David, but he wants everything to look just right when he gets to church.

How often do I go to church with everything looking just right on the outside, but I haven't cleaned up the inside.  I go to the services with my heart full of self and pride and the mistaken belief that I'm okay.   Maybe I've not been a submissive wife, or maybe I've not done something I knew God wanted me to do, but because I look "cleaned up" one the outside everyone thinks that all is okay between me and God.  My heart knows the difference, but I still put up the facade of spirituality and righteousness. 

I'm working to pursue God more and more.  One of the things that I am working on is the inside of me - my heart.  I want my heart to be as clean and "just right" with God as the outside looks.  I don't just want to clean up for Sundays and Wednesdays, I want to clean up for every hour of every day.  God deserves my whole heart and I want it clean for Him.

I - N - N... INN

For years, David has known how to finger spell his name and give his phone number in sign language.  He also knows a few other important signs, such as potty, eat, pop, help, etc.  I am now trying to teach David finger-spelling of all words.  This isn't really a difficult task because David enjoys looking at magazines and has often asked us to verbally spell specific words (shampoo, hotel, for, never, Chevrolet, etc.)  My goal is to help David learn to communicate with us better.

One day, while running some errands, we were stopped near a LaQuinta Inn.  Now, if you know David at all, you know that he loves vacations and he loves hotels, motels, and inns.  Anywhere he can lie down on someone else's bed and watch TV is a good thing to him.  So, here are we waiting by a LaQuinta Inn and David wants to spell it out.  Instead of just verbally spelling it, I take the time to teach him how to finger spell each letter.  The LaQuinta part didn't stick, but the Inn part did.  David is constantly (at least from my perspective) spelling I-N-N.  David wants to go on a vacation, and this is his way of communicating that to me.

On Saturday afternoon, Rich, David and I went out to lunch with our older brother John.  We were sitting at the table talking about nothing special when all of a sudden David starts spelling D-A-Y-S   I-N-N.  Days Inn is David's most favorite hotel chain.  He finds their ads in his magazines and comes running to show us and to spell the words out.  So, back to the restaurant.  We spelled  D-A-Y-S   I-N-N  for David several times.  When done, John just starts laughing.  He comments about how David's thoughts are fixated on hotels, and Days Inn in particular.  There was nothing about our conversation that would have prompted David to think of vacation or travels.  Days Inn was just on his mind.  John even related David's behavior to a Far Side cartoon where a man is having a conversation with a dog, but the thought bubble over the dog's head shows the dog is just thinking "woof, woof, woof."

For nine and a half years, our pastor has been trying to get our church to incorporate the very real person of Jesus Christ into our everyday existance.  Bro. Schaap is trying to teach us that Jesus should be a part of every thought we have, every action we take, etc.  Last night I realized that David is more aware of the presence of Days Inns and the joy they give him than I am of the presence of Jesus Christ and all He gives to me.  I was very convicted.  So, my goal is to start walking around thinking about J-E-S-U-S and making Him a part of every thought and action.  Will you join me?

THROWING A FIT!

Today started off like every other day - everything was going great and I was even ahead of schedule!  I woke David up and got him dressed and ready for workshop.  After he was dressed I came to the kitchen and cooked him some breakfast.  Then, when it was time I told David to get his lunchbox so I could take him to work and go to work myself.  That's when the first thought of trouble entered my mind.  I couldn't find my car keys.  I tried not to panic, and I started thinking through the day before to remember where I placed the keys.  Then, the realization hit me...  the keys were locked in the car.  Yesterday was a day of shuffling cars hither and yon.  Because I didn't have any pockets in my skirt, I placed my keys in the glove box when Rich picked me up.  When we got home, I forgot to take the keys out.  By the time I realized my predicament, Rich was already long gone at work, and unable to rescue me. 

Now, I can adjust to having a day home.  There are always numerous things I can do to fill my time.  David, however, is another story.  David is autistic and does not handle change well at all.  David did not understand why one minute he is going to work and the next minute I'm telling him to put his lunch back in the fridge.  He was most upset.  So upset, in fact, that he screamed, cried and threw a fit for over nine hours.  My patience was tried all day long.  Now, it's not David's fault that I messed up his routine, but I did hope he would have some ability to be flexible.  He never did understand, and even now, twelve hours later, David is still upset and agitated.

David's behavior makes me wonder if God looks at me like I look at David.  There are times that God adjusts my life and my schedule in very unexpected ways.  I try not to throw a fit, but sometimes I do.  I try to be flexible and allow God to lead me, but sometimes I pout for hours and unfortunately, days at a time.  While trying to maintain my patience today I couldn't help but thank God for the countless times He has been patient with me and my fits.  I am so glad that "His mercy endureth forever."  Aren't you?

AM I READY FOR CHURCH?

It's Saturday evening at our house.  Rich is away at Deacon's meeting and I am finishing up some printing for Sunday school class tomorrow.  It has been my practice for many years to fully prepare for Sundays the day before so that I'm not rushed and frazzled trying to get out the door.  I've already done my ironing and by the time I go to bed tonight, everything will be ready for tomorrow. 

David loves going to church and he also prepares for Sundays without any prompting on our part.  David knows that he always gets his shower on Saturdays for Sunday, so as soon as we wake up on Saturday morning, David starts asking for his bath.  David also "supervises" me as I do the ironing to make sure that he has clothes for the next day as well.  However, David's most important preparation comes as soon as we go to bed on Saturday night; when Rich and I go into our bedroom and close the door, David immediately takes his Bible and places it on a chair by the front door.  David doesn't want to forget his Bible, because David knows he is supposed to take it to church with him and because David loves his Bible.

So, as I sit here finishing up my Saturday evening preparations, I'm wondering if I'm as ready for church as David is.  Yes, I will have all the clothes ironed.  Yes, I will have all my Sunday school paperwork packed and ready.  Yes, we will all have showered and puffed and powdered.  And yes, I will even make sure my Bible gets packed in my church bag tomorrow morning after I read it.  But sometimes, I wonder if I do all these things because I'm supposed to or because I love the Lord and I want to.  Tonight, before going to bed, I am going to make sure my heart is right and that I am doing these things because I want to.  How about you?

LIVE IN THE MOMENT!!!

We have several routines in our life, one of them involves David's Saturday morning activities.  Each Saturday morning, we take David to the store and allow him to pick out a magazine, a bag of chips and a bottle of diet pop.  This has been a part of David's routine for over twenty years.  I'm writing this on a Friday evening, a little after 5 p.m.  As soon as we walked in the door this evening, David put his lunchbox away and then came and immediately asked me using his limited sign language if he was going to get a book tomorrow.  I told him yes.  Ten minutes later he came out of his bedroom and asked me the same question again.  Ten minutes later, he came into the kitchen where I was and asked me again.  His asking and my answering him will go on all night long.  He's so focused on tomorrow morning's activity that he is unable to enjoy his Friday evening fully.  There have been times we have been traveling on vacation, but that doesn't matter.  Friday night he starts asking about his book regardless of what we are doing.

I know I am so often guilty of going to God and saying, "God, what about tomorrow?  What's going to happen?"  While today is a great day and God has blessed abundantly.  Instead of enjoying what I have, I worry about what may never be.  My goal is to enjoy tonight.  Enjoy the beautiful weather.  Enjoy the time with my husband when he gets home from work.  Enjoy the meal that I was able to cook because God gave us provisions.  I am even going to try to enjoy telling David every ten minutes that he will get his book tomorrow!  How about you ~ what will you enjoy today?

I WANT IT NOW!!!

One of the most frustrating things about caring for David is his inability to understand the word patience.  For example, I made some sausage for dinner tonight.  David really likes sausage and wasn't thrilled with waiting for Rich to get home to eat dinner.  So, while I would stand at the stove and stir the green beans or make sure the sausage water hadn't boiled down, David would be hovering right behind me either asking to eat (via sign language and grunts) or pounding his chest because I said no.  My husband was delayed coming home, so this went on for over an hour.  Times like this make it hard for me to be patient and calm.

As we were driving to church I was telling Rich how impatient David was about dinner tonight, and how he was acting as if he hadn't had a bite to eat in months.  Then I got to thinking if God ever thinks of me in those same terms.  How often have I seen God's Hand working out situations in my life, but instead of waiting for "dinner" to be served I go to God and say, "I want it now!  I don't want to wait for everything to be just how You want it.  Give me what I want!"  God doesn't ever seem to be in a hurry, especially for things I want.  But God knows best and He will serve His work in my life when it's just right ~ not before, and not after.  So, the next time David starts throwing a fit because he can't have what he wants when he wants it, I'm going to remember to ask God to forgive me for my impatience. 

It's Been Awhile...

It's been several months since I have posted anything - not because there has been no excitement, but because there's always so much going on in our household!


David was recently moved to a new line at his workshop and he seems to be adjusting well. Prior to this move, we were dealing with a lot of behaviors with David. The old work line had great staff, but not enough work to keep David busy and out of trouble. His new line also has great staff, but they also have work and activities to keep David busy.


This got me to thinking about my life - I seem to do better when I'm busy. If I have too much free time on my hands I get lazy and restless, and I'm more likely to do things to get me into trouble. When my schedule is full I accomplish more which is good for my ego. I have no doubt God created mankind to work - not just because He had nothing better for us to do, but because He knew we would need the sense of accomplishment that comes from being busy doing things we ought to do. Our God is very smart, and I'm glad I know Him!